TAUNTAUNS. PULLING A SLEIGH.

Posted on by Emperor

Your Emperor is… displeased.

A Super Bowl trailer has revealed The Mandalorian & Grogu riding through the snow on a sleigh pulled by tauntauns like some sort of festive Hoth greeting card.

TAUNTAUNS. PULLING A SLEIGH.

I have brought order to the galaxy. I have crushed the Jedi. I have built a battle station capable of destroying entire planets. And THIS is what the galaxy’s “heroes” have been reduced to? Jingle bells and joy rides?

In my day, we used tauntauns for patrol duty on ice planets before they froze at nightfall. We certainly didn’t hitch them to sleighs for father-son bonding moments.

Mark my words: The Rebellion may have won the war, but they’re losing something far more important—dignity.

The Mandalorian & Grogu arrives in theaters May 2026. Your Emperor will be monitoring this… development.

The Emperor’s Guide to the Latest Unearthed Arcana: Which Subclass Would I Play?

Posted on by Emperor

A D&D Review from Your Supreme Leader at DeathStarInc.com

My loyal minions and fellow adventurers,

As your Emperor, I have many responsibilities: crushing rebellions, maintaining unlimited power, ensuring the Death Star’s thermal exhaust ports are properly secured (learned that lesson the hard way), and yes—playing Dungeons & Dragons. What? You think ruling the galaxy doesn’t leave time for rolling dice? Please. I have people for menial tasks like “actual governance.”

Wizards of the Coast has released their latest Unearthed Arcana playtest material featuring six revised subclasses, and naturally, my Court Wizard delivered them to me immediately. (He knows what happens to those who withhold information from the Emperor. Spoiler: it involves Force lightning and an unfortunate lack of Revivify scrolls.)

So, let’s examine these options through the lens of someone who has perfected the art of villainy. Which subclass would the Emperor himself play? Let’s break them down, shall we?

Continue Reading…

Warlock: Dungeons & Dragons

Posted on by admin

OK, the Tool music was great (that’s a wicked good song). The trailer was .. meh. I’m prepping for my DM session tomorrow, and this was nice. I wonder what the game will be like? Have you heard much about it?